Five Stages of Working With Accountability Partners
Humorous Advice From Positive Experience
Stage 1 — This is genious!
You: Why am I still stuck on this goal? I’ve read all the blogs. Tried all the tips, and I’m still where I was a ________ week, month, (gasp), year ago. Except for this one. The accountability partner. I’m going to ask the most responsible person I know if they want to team up, cheer each other on, check in with each other, and get us to our finish line.
Later that day: Yes! ___________, (name of friend who is just as excited and secretly nervous as you are.) We set up our plan and I have already started on my first check point.
Me: Congratulations on starting your new approach to a classic problem! Choosing a friend you can be real with, who doesn’t have a mean streak you’re worried will show up, and who you genuinely believe can motivate you and vice versa, means that you are on your way. Make a realistic plan for what you want to accomplish and push yourself just a little. Accountability is magical, yet it does have it’s limits and you want to keep your enthusiasm. To begin, set up a timeframe (a month works if you have that much time) and plan on weekly check ins. Options for those meetings are phone calls, video chats, and meeting up in person. You might even work together for a morning, afternoon, or evening. A whole day. I’ve had great results doing that.
Stage 2 — First check in!
You: I’m so excited with my progress! I’m ahead of plan and ready to celebrate with ______ (that wise friend whose enthusiasm helped sponsor this moment.) I wonder if they’re ahead or if they need a boost. We’ll order a nice dessert to celebrate or commiserate.
Me: This fabulous momentum is one of the reasons accountability works. You have fresh energy to put in the time and keep moving forward. Points for knowing that your partner may need help and for getting the chocolate lava cake. If you’re not able to meet in person, you can each get your tasty choice and eat them during the call or video meeting.
Stage 3 — The Mid-Point.
You: Shoot. Darn. We’re meeting tomorrow and I haven’t even started on what I thought I’d have finished. This. Isn’t. Working.
Me: Slumps are normal. This is when you reach out to your friend and tell them what’s going on. Let them inspire you to do what you can before your check in. You may be doing the same for them. Don’t move the check in date. Move your body and do as much as you reasonably can. There’s a momentum that comes with deadlines — tap into it. Celebrate what you get done.
Stage 4 — The Finished Line.
You: We got a lot done, but it also took a toll. Added stress. I put other stuff on hold and I started wanting to avoid my friend. I’m never doing that again.
Me: I sooo know this feeling. Just wait.
Stage 5 — Two Months Later.
You: (Looking at your progress from two months ago compared to now.) Why didn’t we set new goals and keep going? It wasn’t that hard and that’s the biggest leap we’ve made in a long time. Our friendship is stronger than before. I’m going to ask if they want to do it again. We can plan better now that we know what challenges we had last time.
Me: Welcome to my favorite productivity tool.
Your inspired friend,
Gina
